I am unusually frustrated and it doesn’t seem to condense throughout this week. I guess I keep it inside and I just need to let it out and perhaps it’ll lighten my spirit. I want to be so intelligent that it pains me to live with the idea that i’m just an average Jane, I was not born a genius, I do not posses any special talent, nor do I have an unbreakable determination to fulfill a dream, which even that, I do not posses. I am just a wonderer, someone who is looking for something to do with my life that will be considered “worthy”, now don’t misunderstand this blog as me being depressed or lost or whatever, no, this is not that kind of blog. This vent is not to be read with a melancholy mood, it is just me being blunt and facing the reality of not wanting to do more with life but keeping it simple. For some reason though people look down on that. People frown upon the idea that I don’t strive to be this or that or whatever they expect or they think is “successful”, like geezus man! I’m a girl who like materialistic things, maybe do some traveling, eat at some really cool places, and just have the time of my life. I don’t go out and get wasted, or commit crimes. I am just a person who wishes to experience all that life has to offer. So can I quit experiencing the shitty stuff and begin experiencing awesome shit, like traveling, or meeting Adam Laviegn (Maroon 5 lead singer)
Half of the guys who claim to be “nice guys” aren’t really nice guys and the other half don’t seem to be at first impressions.
Makes me feel fine
So every now and then, I think” I’m # old, what have I done in my life?” Then I go about feeling bad because I feel like I should be there instead of being here. Then I continue self loathing over the idea that there are those who are less fortunate and here I am complaining. Well, this is that time again, but this time I’m going to try to break the cycle and actually do something about it. As lame as it sounds, I googled (a word that should be added to the dictionary since its such a common term) “what are a list of things 20 year olds should do and I ran into this list and if you look at # 14, it suggests writing a blog. And yeah, that’s as far as I gotten with this idea. Hopefully it develops into something more significant.
to feel that crazy again. Just maybe, not with you.